?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Русские "комплименты"

compliment

We all love compliments! But I've noticed something unique about the Russian blogosphere, where compliments aren't always what they seem. If you look at the TOP on a daily basis, you'll see a lot of posts full of trash, bloggers criticizing other women's appearance, lifestyle choices, bodies...the list is endless. Yes, sometimes they mention that the woman is "beautiful," but then they go on to highlight numerous flaws about the person. Even when people try to be pleasant, they often slip into "critique" mode, by throwing in an undercover insult in the process. Some examples I've noticed recently:

"You're pretty nice, for a Jew."
"You're smart, despite the fact that you're American."
"You have a beautiful face, but need to lose weight."


Compliments...Russian style. :)) Of course, people all over the world are engaged in this behavior. So, today I'll teach you the English word for this - "backhanded compliment." Maybe you already know this slang phrase, but sometimes foreigners don't learn them until they're actually living in the culture in which the phrase originates. For instance, I've taught my Russian friend the following slang words - "beaver," "joint," "Mary Jane," "midget,"...others that I can't think of right now.

What do you think? Do Russians tend to criticize others more than Americans typically do? I follow a lot of American bloggers on their stand alone websites, and I've never once seen all this soap opera drama where they're fighting with, or insulting, each other in a public forum. Btw, I'm not a Jew. :)) It seems some Krembots have recently invaded my blog with these accusations. Trust me, if I was Jewish, I would gladly admit it with no hesitation. I'm American, with German, Irish and Native American roots thrown in. So you can remove "evil Jew" from your list of conspiracies about me. :)


Comments

( 259 comments — Leave a comment )
Page 1 of 3
<<[1] [2] [3] >>
masseur_by
Feb. 8th, 2015 01:58 pm (UTC)
Добрый день, Шеннон! По русски это называется просто "хамство". Если комплимент ставит своей целью оскорбить, то это не комплимент. Такой, скорее энерговампиризм. Типа, "я же как лучше хотел".
fostral2
Feb. 8th, 2015 02:01 pm (UTC)
это не хамство
это комплексы, в лучшем случае неполноценности, бьют жидким говном их всех отверстий
(no subject) - urman_patrial - Feb. 8th, 2015 02:18 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - naysayer15 - Feb. 8th, 2015 02:22 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - rise_man - Feb. 8th, 2015 02:54 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - old_oarsman - Feb. 10th, 2015 01:17 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - phd_paul_lector - Feb. 8th, 2015 02:55 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mjol1nir - Feb. 8th, 2015 07:04 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - phd_paul_lector - Feb. 8th, 2015 08:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
не вижу противоречий - fostral2 - Feb. 8th, 2015 03:14 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Feb. 8th, 2015 02:51 pm (UTC) - Expand
fostral2
Feb. 8th, 2015 01:58 pm (UTC)
the true classic is:
"You're smart, despite the fact that you're woman"

Hi )))))
e_g_o_r_i_u_s
Feb. 8th, 2015 02:09 pm (UTC)
Re: the true classic is:
Yes, this is the best example :)
Re: the true classic is: - peacetraveler22 - Feb. 8th, 2015 02:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: the true classic is: - e_g_o_r_i_u_s - Feb. 8th, 2015 03:17 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: the true classic is: - peacetraveler22 - Feb. 8th, 2015 02:56 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: the true classic is: - moya_gospoga - Feb. 8th, 2015 04:38 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: the true classic is: - peacetraveler22 - Feb. 8th, 2015 04:44 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: the true classic is: - moya_gospoga - Feb. 8th, 2015 05:07 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: the true classic is: - fostral2 - Feb. 8th, 2015 07:06 pm (UTC) - Expand
justadreamer
Feb. 8th, 2015 02:00 pm (UTC)
Доброго дня, Шеннон. Вы очаровательны )
peacetraveler22
Feb. 8th, 2015 02:58 pm (UTC)
Добрый вечер! Большое спасибо!
raad_traat
Feb. 8th, 2015 02:02 pm (UTC)
Hi!
Do not argue with idiots, or you'll descend to their level, and they will crush you with their experiences (c)
peacetraveler22
Feb. 8th, 2015 02:58 pm (UTC)
"Crush you..." yeah, sometimes I feel buried by the trolls and maniacs here. I've not quite learned how to properly deal with them. :(
(no subject) - raad_traat - Feb. 8th, 2015 03:42 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - yarowind - Feb. 8th, 2015 06:47 pm (UTC) - Expand
asy007
Feb. 8th, 2015 02:05 pm (UTC)

Those are not really compliments though - rather masked insults.
Some Russians are pretty good with compliments in a way in real life, although probably most of their compliments are too straight for average American taste (you will never hear "I like your shoes" from Russians :) - historical and cultural reasons.

peacetraveler22
Feb. 8th, 2015 02:59 pm (UTC)
You're right. The overall style of communication between Russians and Americans is very different. I think most Americans are more gentle in their approach and tone. :)
(no subject) - south_of_broad - Feb. 8th, 2015 06:11 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - origen_72 - Feb. 8th, 2015 06:20 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: I think most Americans are more gentle - kott_1 - Feb. 8th, 2015 11:23 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: I think most Americans are more gentle - kott_1 - Feb. 9th, 2015 03:11 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: I think most Americans are more gentle - kott_1 - Feb. 9th, 2015 03:18 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - naysayer15 - Feb. 8th, 2015 03:11 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Feb. 8th, 2015 03:22 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - chris_archer - Feb. 8th, 2015 10:26 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mb_b - Feb. 9th, 2015 05:25 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - chris_archer - Feb. 9th, 2015 09:55 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Feb. 8th, 2015 04:09 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - naysayer15 - Feb. 8th, 2015 06:23 pm (UTC) - Expand
"Btw, look at this post..." - old_oarsman - Feb. 10th, 2015 02:11 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: "Btw, look at this post..." - peacetraveler22 - Feb. 10th, 2015 03:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: "Btw, look at this post..." - old_oarsman - Feb. 10th, 2015 09:11 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kott_1 - Feb. 8th, 2015 11:25 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - origen_72 - Feb. 8th, 2015 03:05 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - naysayer15 - Feb. 8th, 2015 07:22 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - origen_72 - Feb. 8th, 2015 07:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - old_oarsman - Feb. 10th, 2015 02:16 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - origen_72 - Feb. 10th, 2015 10:06 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - old_oarsman - Feb. 10th, 2015 01:28 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - origen_72 - Feb. 10th, 2015 01:56 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - old_oarsman - Feb. 10th, 2015 07:54 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Feb. 10th, 2015 07:55 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - origen_72 - Feb. 10th, 2015 08:20 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - lev_kuzminsky - Feb. 18th, 2015 03:24 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - origen_72 - Feb. 18th, 2015 03:33 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - lev_kuzminsky - Feb. 18th, 2015 03:55 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - origen_72 - Feb. 18th, 2015 04:03 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - lev_kuzminsky - Feb. 18th, 2015 03:26 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - origen_72 - Feb. 18th, 2015 03:32 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Feb. 10th, 2015 04:04 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - old_oarsman - Feb. 10th, 2015 08:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
rise_man
Feb. 8th, 2015 02:12 pm (UTC)
Do you know, I often think about Russian rudeness... it seems to me that These people who talk and write such things they are weak by their spirit and have poor education.

It is a pity but it is illness which belong to society with low level of culture. I consider that it isn't only problem for Russian society... People are different among any nations... . But generally speaking I would like to live among well educated and kind citizens :)
peacetraveler22
Feb. 8th, 2015 03:00 pm (UTC)
That's exactly right. People who routinely insult others usually suffer from the worst self-esteem. Somehow they feel better about themselves by finding faults in others. This is a sick way to live.
(no subject) - rise_man - Feb. 8th, 2015 03:16 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - old_oarsman - Feb. 10th, 2015 02:22 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - lev_kuzminsky - Feb. 18th, 2015 03:28 pm (UTC) - Expand
vaga_bonda
Feb. 8th, 2015 02:15 pm (UTC)
Russia is still living in the age where a woman is worth as much as a man willing to pay for her! This is the reason of intolerance to external disadvantages. Woman as a person stands in proportion to the length of her legs))
phd_paul_lector
Feb. 8th, 2015 02:56 pm (UTC)
This is not true, hope this is not a deliberate lie.
(no subject) - vaga_bonda - Feb. 8th, 2015 03:02 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Feb. 8th, 2015 03:03 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - naysayer15 - Feb. 8th, 2015 06:26 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - lev_kuzminsky - Feb. 18th, 2015 03:32 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - naysayer15 - Feb. 18th, 2015 03:35 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - lev_kuzminsky - Feb. 18th, 2015 03:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Feb. 8th, 2015 03:02 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - vaga_bonda - Feb. 8th, 2015 03:17 pm (UTC) - Expand
elena_88888
Feb. 8th, 2015 02:18 pm (UTC)
Forget about them!
They are just attempts to switch you to other they think problems than to discuss real problems brought by you.
So leave them even without answers or delete them and it would become them tired to insult without any feedback... ))
peacetraveler22
Feb. 8th, 2015 03:05 pm (UTC)
You're right! Sometimes I'm too nice and forgiving. In real life and in the blogosphere. :)
e_g_o_r_i_u_s
Feb. 8th, 2015 02:21 pm (UTC)
I would say, Russians tend to care much of their image in others' eyes, but the opposite is also true - others' exterior or behaviour is quite possible to be criticised aloud. Personal authonomy in taste or appearance is not of a big value, and borders of the so called personal space are often not taken seriously.

Shannon, and what do "joint" and "midget" mean?

And also I did not known about your German roots - were any of your grandparents born in Germany? Sprichst du vielleicht auch Deutsch? :)
naysayer15
Feb. 8th, 2015 02:29 pm (UTC)
Ага, "немцев" с ФИО типа Абрам Зильберман и Сара Голдман заехало в США МИЛЛИОНЫ с 1870-ых по 1920-ые. При этом в переписи населения последней только 44 тыс. человек назвали себя "израильтянами", если не ошибаюсь. По моим прикидкам число жидов в США сейчас порядка 10-15 миллионов. В одном только Джу Йорке митинг раввинов и хасидов в том году собрал 300 тыс. человек - это по сути без учета советских жидов, которые нерелигиозны. Но официально они все "немцы", "поляки", "румыны" или "русские" - в зависимости откуда они приехали. Я думаю, что Шэннон из этих. При этом она может совершенно искренне считать своего предка Шломо Вайсмана из Ганновера "немцем". Я не знаю, как это объяснить. Скорее всего марксистская пропаганда и тупая и лживая идея "мелтинг пот".

В западном полушарии, где все страны эмигрантские, существует достаточно эфемерное понятие "нации", которое фактически определяется гражданством/паспортом. Большинство из жителей обеих Америк не понимают, что в остальном мире нация определяется не по паспорту, а по этническому происхождению.

Edited at 2015-02-08 02:30 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Feb. 8th, 2015 02:31 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - naysayer15 - Feb. 8th, 2015 02:34 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Feb. 8th, 2015 02:35 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - naysayer15 - Feb. 8th, 2015 02:37 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Feb. 8th, 2015 02:41 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - naysayer15 - Feb. 8th, 2015 02:43 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - phd_paul_lector - Feb. 8th, 2015 02:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Feb. 8th, 2015 03:02 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Feb. 8th, 2015 03:10 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - e_g_o_r_i_u_s - Feb. 8th, 2015 03:26 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Feb. 8th, 2015 03:28 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - e_g_o_r_i_u_s - Feb. 8th, 2015 03:32 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - wise_gorilla - Feb. 8th, 2015 03:58 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Feb. 8th, 2015 04:03 pm (UTC) - Expand
the Joint - mi5ter_fi5ter - Feb. 8th, 2015 08:15 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: the Joint - peacetraveler22 - Feb. 9th, 2015 02:03 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: the Joint - mi5ter_fi5ter - Feb. 9th, 2015 02:17 am (UTC) - Expand
wise_gorilla
Feb. 8th, 2015 02:22 pm (UTC)
Your English is pretty good for a former Soviet English teacher.
kremlin_curant
Feb. 8th, 2015 02:37 pm (UTC)
Ok. If so just change your nickname from wise gorilla to stupid one.
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - kremlin_curant - Feb. 8th, 2015 02:53 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - wise_gorilla - Feb. 8th, 2015 02:51 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kremlin_curant - Feb. 8th, 2015 02:58 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - wise_gorilla - Feb. 8th, 2015 03:04 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Feb. 8th, 2015 03:10 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - south_of_broad - Feb. 8th, 2015 06:16 pm (UTC) - Expand
don_oles
Feb. 8th, 2015 02:25 pm (UTC)
I'd say you're too russian.
hehehehe
peacetraveler22
Feb. 8th, 2015 03:11 pm (UTC)
I seriously wonder how some people believe I'm a Soviet woman. I can't even imagine how they come up with this theory. :))

Edited at 2015-02-08 03:11 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - don_oles - Feb. 8th, 2015 03:16 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - popados - Feb. 8th, 2015 05:20 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Feb. 8th, 2015 05:28 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - popados - Feb. 8th, 2015 05:33 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Feb. 8th, 2015 05:34 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - chris_archer - Feb. 8th, 2015 10:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Feb. 8th, 2015 10:47 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - chris_archer - Feb. 8th, 2015 10:49 pm (UTC) - Expand
kremlin_curant
Feb. 8th, 2015 02:33 pm (UTC)
Russian style usually means insolence, obscenity and boorishness.
At least modern russian style.
peacetraveler22
Feb. 8th, 2015 02:34 pm (UTC)
You think people were more polite in Soviet times?
(no subject) - kremlin_curant - Feb. 8th, 2015 02:39 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Feb. 8th, 2015 02:40 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kremlin_curant - Feb. 8th, 2015 02:49 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - naysayer15 - Feb. 8th, 2015 02:35 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kremlin_curant - Feb. 8th, 2015 02:42 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - naysayer15 - Feb. 8th, 2015 02:46 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Feb. 8th, 2015 02:47 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - naysayer15 - Feb. 8th, 2015 02:49 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - wise_gorilla - Feb. 8th, 2015 02:49 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - naysayer15 - Feb. 8th, 2015 02:51 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - phd_paul_lector - Feb. 8th, 2015 02:59 pm (UTC) - Expand
perycalypsis
Feb. 8th, 2015 02:48 pm (UTC)
They comment on the mostly friendly attitude considering the level of anti-American sentiment.
peacetraveler22
Feb. 8th, 2015 02:49 pm (UTC)
I hope I don't experience hostilities when I return to Russia in a few weeks, given the heightened level of Anti-Americanism. It hasn't happened in any of my past journeys there, so I hope the same is true this time.
(no subject) - phd_paul_lector - Feb. 8th, 2015 03:11 pm (UTC) - Expand
phd_paul_lector
Feb. 8th, 2015 02:53 pm (UTC)
This is not "Russian style", this is "low punk style"

unfortunatelly, Yahoo have access to the Internet :(
peacetraveler22
Feb. 8th, 2015 03:12 pm (UTC)
Hmm..I read that book a long time ago, but didn't remember the term "Yahoo." So, you taught me something new again. Thanks! :)
(no subject) - phd_paul_lector - Feb. 8th, 2015 03:20 pm (UTC) - Expand
rise_man
Feb. 8th, 2015 03:09 pm (UTC)
I had read some comments here... and what i would like to say, I'm sure that it is wrong to judge about whole nation after conversations with several unpolite persons.
peacetraveler22
Feb. 8th, 2015 03:17 pm (UTC)
Of course, if I viewed the entire nation of Russia based on the behavior of people on LJ, I would have absolutely no hope for the country's future or people. :) People on the Internet whip out their swords and insults much faster than in real life. Anonymity breeds stupidity.
(no subject) - rise_man - Feb. 8th, 2015 03:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
Page 1 of 3
<<[1] [2] [3] >>
( 259 comments — Leave a comment )

Tags

Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by yoksel