?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Holiday gloom - the ethics of blogging

ssz3

Visions of fairy tales, snowmen and twinkling lights dance in my head around the holidays. For me, this is a very joyous time of year, but for others a harsh reminder of isolation and loneliness. People who have no family, those who are estranged from loved ones, or live as loners on all other days of the year are suddenly faced with grim isolation while their co-workers and acquaintances run from one party and feast to another. I take my responsibility as a blogger very seriously. This is not a job for me, but an intellectual and artistic endeavor. A way to express myself, to continually learn from others and share my cultural experiences and social thoughts with thousands of strangers. However, sometimes the lines are blurred and I receive very strange messages. They are usually from men asking provocative or inappropriate questions, or someone who wishes to degrade me, my appearance or nationality. Yesterday something changed. I received a suicide note in my inbox, and I became very shaken and disturbed...

The message was something like this:

"I wish good luck to your family and loved ones. I want to say goodbye. With this pain, I can no longer live. I am in debt, cannot pay bills, lost my job, my wife left me. There is no hope in life and it is time for this cycle to end. I cause only pain and grief for others. My life is worthless. Thank you for your blog, for your kindness...Goodbye..."

How would you handle this situation? A desperate cry for help from a complete stranger, or maybe even a troll or someone just playing psychological games from the sofa? I take suicide very seriously, and even the hint or threat of it brings back horrible memories. I had a neighbor who blew his brains out in my childhood. His wife was cheating on him while he worked his ass off as a long haul truck driver, driving a tractor trailer all over the U.S.  I remember it vividly, as my father went and cleaned his brains from the ceiling after he pulled the trigger. He left behind two small children. Perhaps some of you know someone who has killed themselves, or threatened it.

I don't know about Russia, but in the USA there are many ways to seek immediate help. Suicide prevention hotlines, where you can call and instantly speak with someone, shelters where you can go for company or a nice meal on the holidays, or any other night...If you know of similar resources in Russia, please share in the comments in case the person who sent me this message is serious and needs help.

Should I respond to this email or ignore it?


Comments

( 124 comments — Leave a comment )
Page 1 of 3
<<[1] [2] [3] >>
juan_gandhi
Dec. 23rd, 2015 03:15 pm (UTC)
About a year ago I got a similar, shorter, message from a guy in Russia that I know. I called him, etc. A week later he wrote another email saying that he is now supporting Putin.

So I though, good job, one more Putin supporter still alive, thanks to me.
merinainen
Dec. 23rd, 2015 03:23 pm (UTC)
First of all his a human being, second- someone's son and lastly Putin's supporter. Don't judge people by their political
view. Moreover, he might change his mind.
(no subject) - juan_gandhi - Dec. 23rd, 2015 04:10 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Dec. 23rd, 2015 03:38 pm (UTC) - Expand
mesier
Dec. 23rd, 2015 03:23 pm (UTC)
Respond "Bye-bye, loser!" and just forget him..

Edited at 2015-12-23 03:25 pm (UTC)
peacetraveler22
Dec. 23rd, 2015 03:39 pm (UTC)
It's better to ignore him than be a pawn in his trolling games, if in fact this was his objective. My concern after looking at his Facebook page and LJ blog is that this was serious.
perycalypsis
Dec. 23rd, 2015 03:25 pm (UTC)
A man decided to commit suicide, but the heating system in his house was turned off, the air temperature dropped down, and he felt much better. And wanted to live again.
peacetraveler22
Dec. 23rd, 2015 03:39 pm (UTC)
I hope you're right!
a_nimaida
Dec. 23rd, 2015 03:31 pm (UTC)
I do not believe such a message!
peacetraveler22
Dec. 23rd, 2015 03:42 pm (UTC)
Why? There are plenty of suicidal people all over the world, esp. in Russia. It usually ranks in the top 20 of countries with the most suicides each year, along with several former Soviet bloc countries.
(no subject) - a_nimaida - Dec. 23rd, 2015 04:09 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - pasha1980 - Dec. 24th, 2015 03:11 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Dec. 24th, 2015 03:39 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - pasha1980 - Dec. 24th, 2015 03:53 am (UTC) - Expand
real_marsel
Dec. 23rd, 2015 03:42 pm (UTC)
This is try to find an attention. He will not suicide. Strong people kill themself; weak go on living and moun.
peacetraveler22
Dec. 23rd, 2015 03:42 pm (UTC)
Yes, usually people who leave such notes are simply seeking attention.
(no subject) - real_marsel - Dec. 23rd, 2015 03:47 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Dec. 23rd, 2015 03:48 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - real_marsel - Dec. 23rd, 2015 04:36 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - iamschik - Dec. 24th, 2015 10:45 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Dec. 25th, 2015 12:17 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - iamschik - Dec. 25th, 2015 12:39 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Dec. 26th, 2015 01:06 am (UTC) - Expand
theodorexxx
Dec. 23rd, 2015 04:01 pm (UTC)
Well, i always thought a faithless wife was a part of truck driver job
peacetraveler22
Dec. 23rd, 2015 04:02 pm (UTC)
Maybe, just as it's a common stereotype that most truckers use prostitutes on long hauls.
moskitow
Dec. 23rd, 2015 04:04 pm (UTC)
My friend worked at such hotline in Canada. It was her first job as a fresh immigrant. She was very nervous not only about her language skills but also about the responsibility (what if she couldn't prevent somebody from killing himself?). They had an intensive training where the first thing they were told that people who decided to go through with their suicide wouldn't call. The once that do call want to be listened to. So as long as you listen - half the job is done.
So far you, by posting this message, showed that this person was heard. If he wants further help - it's up to him to take some steps so he/she can get help.
That is what I think.....

Edited at 2015-12-23 04:05 pm (UTC)
peacetraveler22
Dec. 23rd, 2015 04:09 pm (UTC)
Thanks for your comment. It makes me feel better, and that my moral and social responsibility has been met. I think you're right - the person just wanted to be heard. I could never work on a hotline like that. It is too much emotional stress. Was your friend a psychologist? I don't know if such hotlines exist in Russia, but I hope so.
(no subject) - moskitow - Dec. 23rd, 2015 04:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Dec. 23rd, 2015 04:32 pm (UTC) - Expand
theodorexxx
Dec. 23rd, 2015 04:09 pm (UTC)
Ask yourself:
1. Is your blog that worth to readers? I mean, if i'm about suicide, I won't send you a message. Though I check you blog every day
2. The language and the thoughts aren't typical for russians. From my POV there are no mistakes in his english and russians usually don't care about their bills and debts
peacetraveler22
Dec. 23rd, 2015 04:34 pm (UTC)
What do you mean they don't care about their bills or debts? Everyone must pay bills in order to survive and live. Services are not free.
(no subject) - theodorexxx - Dec. 23rd, 2015 04:46 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Dec. 23rd, 2015 04:47 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - theodorexxx - Dec. 23rd, 2015 05:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Dec. 23rd, 2015 05:25 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - theodorexxx - Dec. 23rd, 2015 05:39 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Dec. 23rd, 2015 05:40 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - theodorexxx - Dec. 23rd, 2015 05:48 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Dec. 23rd, 2015 05:51 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - theodorexxx - Dec. 23rd, 2015 05:54 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Dec. 23rd, 2015 05:55 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - theodorexxx - Dec. 23rd, 2015 06:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Dec. 23rd, 2015 06:09 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - theodorexxx - Dec. 23rd, 2015 06:24 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Dec. 23rd, 2015 06:27 pm (UTC) - Expand
notabler
Dec. 23rd, 2015 04:15 pm (UTC)
I have had a similar case many years ago, before all social networks. A very ill disabled guy disappeared from yahoo or another messenger, where he had have many friends. They spotted that and alarmed special services in Holland, where he lived, and they come just in time to save his life. So I think every attempt to help is worthy
peacetraveler22
Dec. 23rd, 2015 04:36 pm (UTC)
The world was much simpler before social networks. They connect people in many ways, but also distort people's perceptions of reality. Most people share only the good on social networks - the best photos, the most happy times - it can make some weak people feel like they are worthless and even more isolated. So, I think there are many bad sides to displaying your full life on social networks, as many people do. This generation is full of attention whores, people who can't live without validation and praise from others. A very sad development for humanity as a whole.
logofilka
Dec. 23rd, 2015 04:31 pm (UTC)
Ignore. You are not in a business of providing psychological services.
peacetraveler22
Dec. 23rd, 2015 04:33 pm (UTC)
With some of my clients, I feel like I'm playing the role of both lawyer and psychologist! :)
(no subject) - logofilka - Dec. 23rd, 2015 05:28 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Dec. 23rd, 2015 05:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
aborigen72
Dec. 23rd, 2015 04:48 pm (UTC)
бывают моменты , когда легче уйти из жизни . чем дальше жить
это трудно пережить , потом вспоминается по разному , иногда как глупость ..
peacetraveler22
Dec. 23rd, 2015 04:50 pm (UTC)
Yes, sometimes life is very difficult. It is filled with many challenges, joys, and disappointments. This is the same for every human, no matter the country. I've been in a depressive state many times, but have never considered suicide. This is a very selfish act in my view.
(no subject) - aborigen72 - Dec. 23rd, 2015 04:56 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - theodorexxx - Dec. 23rd, 2015 05:41 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aborigen72 - Dec. 24th, 2015 03:24 am (UTC) - Expand
elinelisky
Dec. 23rd, 2015 04:50 pm (UTC)
He can call to the helpline or go to a church. In Russia it's a good way to get help. If you want, you can ask him(her) about where is he from and find him number of helpline and information about the nearest church in the internet.
I can't be sure that he (she) isn't a troll, but I always tries have talk with such person and think how I can help to him after talking, if this possible.
peacetraveler22
Dec. 23rd, 2015 04:51 pm (UTC)
The church is a good suggestion, because they are everywhere in Russia, even in the most remote village. :)
amandakysses
Dec. 23rd, 2015 05:28 pm (UTC)
I dont know if it was the best idea to post the persons message on your blog, woman. They say its always better to be the person who smiled than the one who didnt smile back. So, if it were me, i would reply telling them that all life matters and there is always hope. Wishing them a happy holiday and hoping they can find some help and reach out to the right places for support. That way, if it turns out not to be a troll you know you did the kind thing. Merry Christmas to you and your family. Love and miss you guys. Xoxoxo

Edited at 2015-12-23 05:29 pm (UTC)
peacetraveler22
Dec. 23rd, 2015 05:30 pm (UTC)
Merry Christmas! :)
(no subject) - theodorexxx - Dec. 23rd, 2015 05:42 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Dec. 23rd, 2015 05:44 pm (UTC) - Expand
direkt_mashin
Dec. 23rd, 2015 05:41 pm (UTC)
You must answer in any case. you had to respond right away.. now it's probably too late. Just.. really fatal in his situation, only debts. . Here Yes officers antiquity shot. especially if cards lost..
peacetraveler22
Dec. 23rd, 2015 05:43 pm (UTC)
I can't be responsible for all of humanity. :) Providing psychological services is beyond the scope of my abilities and duties as a simple blogger. However, I hope he sees this post, and the comments in it to know he is not alone in suffering.
(no subject) - denis_berdnikov - Dec. 26th, 2015 02:02 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Dec. 26th, 2015 03:31 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - denis_berdnikov - Dec. 26th, 2015 05:07 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Dec. 26th, 2015 05:41 pm (UTC) - Expand
direkt_mashin
Dec. 23rd, 2015 05:53 pm (UTC)
"Two old friends met. One says :." a dark time in my life. Car got broken into. His wife was gone. In the company financial statements do not add up.. minus out.. ."
the second says.: "And I haven't eaten in three days"... " Oh, Strick, So it is impossibl You need to force yourself to do it"
Page 1 of 3
<<[1] [2] [3] >>
( 124 comments — Leave a comment )

Tags

Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by yoksel