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Patriarchy and sex

"Life observations suggest that a man in his lack of regular sex is nothing negative happens. The woman without sex fades, becomes dull, quarrelsome, uninteresting, as a withered flower. This is biology."

Just amazed at the endless words of patriarchal wisdom directed toward me in my blog. Almost always out of the blue, when I never asked for these gems of knowledge. However, this is the first time I've encountered a sofa biologist! I'm not sure what he means by "sex?" This term is ambiguous, and means different things to different people. Does it include making out, groping, oral...or only penetration?

A woman without orgasm can quickly become all of these things, on this point I agree. But let's remember, a man is not necessary to achieve this. There are other ways, trust me...Btw, almost never in my life have I achieved orgasm through classic penetration. It's nothing unusual for females, but of course many men think the sex they can offer a woman is exactly what she needs. Male ego - very strong, and it's necessary to humble it on occasion, especially here on RuNet.

There are many, many pathways to pleasure. On your own, or with a man. Selfish lovers - they are the absolute worst, and there's no room for them in my life. Someone becomes dull, withered and faded only if they're not a sexual being, and disconnected from their own body and sensuality. This is my view, and I can tell you it's quite possible to live without sex for many years, and still feel like a healthy, desirable and erotic being. On this topic, I'll write a post sometime.


Enjoy your May holidays and time off from work! :)

Comments

( 92 comments — Leave a comment )
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maksipes
Apr. 29th, 2016 12:48 pm (UTC)
what are you talking about? what are you a 15 year-old? you should be above it at your age.
peacetraveler22
Apr. 29th, 2016 12:48 pm (UTC)
Above what?
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(no subject) - c0smopolit - May. 22nd, 2016 10:15 pm (UTC) - Expand
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andrey_kaminsky
Apr. 29th, 2016 12:49 pm (UTC)
Пора поделиться.
Hugh Grant told me about how one time he was talking to women, and, at the same time, a cowardly thinking, "Please keep legs crossed!", because he did not have the strength for sex :) So great was the magic of his British pronunciation and so he was sexually exhausted when he first moved from Britain to the United States.
peacetraveler22
Apr. 29th, 2016 12:55 pm (UTC)
Re: Пора поделиться.
It's no surprise he has unlimited options for sex - in Britain, or the USA. He's witty, intelligent and humorous - these are immense turn-ons for a lot of women. And, of course, we like accents here. :) All of these outdated gender stereotypes relating to sex are nauseating and should be squashed, I cannot stand them. And,yes, only Russian men write such nonsense to me.
Re: Пора поделиться. - andrey_kaminsky - Apr. 29th, 2016 01:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Пора поделиться. - peacetraveler22 - Apr. 29th, 2016 01:03 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Пора поделиться. - biakishev - Apr. 29th, 2016 04:07 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Пора поделиться. - peacetraveler22 - Apr. 29th, 2016 04:54 pm (UTC) - Expand
seadevil001
Apr. 29th, 2016 01:25 pm (UTC)
Why do you feel need to prove anything? Or you want to educate other people?
peacetraveler22
Apr. 29th, 2016 01:30 pm (UTC)
There is nothing to prove. Here, I express my thoughts, that's it. Why is it so unusual to talk about sex? There are dozens of other female bloggers who do it here on LJ, in a more salacious and tabloid like manner. They call all men rogues, receive hundreds of comments, and the atmosphere of the blogs is like a zoo. I don't like gender stereotypes, on either side of the equation, although they exist for a reason in most instances. The purpose is to show women can survive just fine without men in life...this is a very radical concept to a lot of Russian men. Maybe not you and, if so, congratulations, you're evolved. :) A good man - this is a blessing, to be treasured, but not a necessity or guaranteed pathway to happiness.

Edited at 2016-04-29 02:02 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - biakishev - Apr. 29th, 2016 04:35 pm (UTC) - Expand
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romanklimenko
Apr. 29th, 2016 01:27 pm (UTC)
hahaha :)
a truly Friday topic!
peacetraveler22
Apr. 29th, 2016 01:33 pm (UTC)
I receive such personal messages, and life guidance, from male readers frequently. Not only on Fridays. :) Have a nice weekend.
(no subject) - romanklimenko - Apr. 29th, 2016 01:52 pm (UTC) - Expand
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wojzeh
Apr. 29th, 2016 01:37 pm (UTC)
peacetraveler22
Apr. 29th, 2016 01:46 pm (UTC)
Sure, why not! :) House husbands can be useful. There is a place for them in the world. At least, I think that's the theme of this tweet, but maybe I misunderstood the Russian.
perycalypsis
Apr. 29th, 2016 01:39 pm (UTC)
Some said that on the spiritual level a person who don't have sex and a lecher are very similar.
peacetraveler22
Apr. 29th, 2016 01:51 pm (UTC)
Hmm...on some level, perhaps it's true. Not sure, I'll have to think about it more...next time I'm restless in the middle of the night, I'll contemplate this comparison and formulate a more reasoned opinion.
(Deleted comment)
peacetraveler22
Apr. 29th, 2016 01:49 pm (UTC)
He's probably in the process of writing a dissertation on the topic...so, you will have to wait for the scientific data to support his thesis. :)) Sex is beautiful, but can be very bad in the wrong circumstances. It is not just about the mechanics, for me personally. Orgasm and sexual release - I can achieve on my own, and quite fast. A man is needed for emotion, passion...
onkel_hans
Apr. 29th, 2016 01:49 pm (UTC)
Teach them, teach them, on and on.
Russians still live in the dark ages. They have to live through several centuries to understand what you are saying.
peacetraveler22
Apr. 29th, 2016 02:14 pm (UTC)
I have no desire to teach them anything. They can live as they wish. :) I'm just trying to put forth a different female ideology for consideration on this platform, and possible insight into a different mentality. Not all women think the same, we aren't all dreaming of our wedding day since childhood, and mostly, some of us don't wish to be treated as objects in life, to be controlled or constantly told what to do. We have brains, ideas, and desires of our own...Btw, one male reader once wrote to me that "Ideas come mostly from men. Women - they are mostly lazy, and don't want to think as much." Yes - such comments still enrage. :)
(no subject) - onkel_hans - May. 1st, 2016 03:10 pm (UTC) - Expand
scrawnypaws
Apr. 29th, 2016 01:55 pm (UTC)
Lord bless you, Shannon!
peacetraveler22
Apr. 29th, 2016 02:04 pm (UTC)
I will accept blessings in any form, thank you! :)
pinkjackal
Apr. 29th, 2016 03:12 pm (UTC)
Again and again you're trying to establish a communication with RuNet guys, treating them as conscious beings. Although, this is irrational - absolutely most of these people are not someone who is reasonable to even talk to.
peacetraveler22
Apr. 29th, 2016 03:19 pm (UTC)
Some of them are conscious beings. :)) These are the ones I call friends.
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ilay_original
Apr. 29th, 2016 07:30 pm (UTC)
now that's a burden of popularity (and I'm pretty much sure you very well know it :))
There's less than a handful of English-speaking writers in LJ community and you are probably the most popular.
No wonder you attract many, of all sorts - trolls and windbags inclusive.

Speaking of the 'words of patriarchal wisdom'...
Probably my English is too bad. But somehow I can't get through them in order to understand anything.

sounds like 'blah blah blah SEX blah blah DULL blah blah OLOGY' to me.
I hardly realize life observations suggesting anything, man in his lack of sex nothing happening, in particular.
Maybe I'm just not man enough to understand?
peacetraveler22
Apr. 29th, 2016 07:59 pm (UTC)
What don't you understand? It's a strange statement to say that a woman fades, withers away or becomes dull and uninteresting if she isn't fucking on a regular basis. As if her entire sense of self-worth is tied to this act...but then claim a man in the same position isn't negatively impacted. Celibacy (whether voluntary or involuntary) impacts people in different ways depending on their life circumstances, libido, etc...regardless of gender. This is not rocket science...:) "Man enough?"...I don't even understand what this phrase means. Your English is very good! :))

Edited at 2016-04-29 08:00 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - ilay_original - Apr. 29th, 2016 08:22 pm (UTC) - Expand
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tori_latvia
Apr. 29th, 2016 08:25 pm (UTC)
Agree!
All of girls do _that_ :))) Nope, we need not a selfish lovers ever...
peacetraveler22
Apr. 29th, 2016 09:09 pm (UTC)
Finally, a comment from a woman! Thanks. :) Selfish lovers don't listen...in and out, and nothing more. Each man and woman has different pleasure points, sexual likes/dislikes. Sometimes it's necessary to give gentle and encouraging guidance for optimal pleasure. This requires a level of comfort, communication and trust with the other person. This is why I can't just jump from man to man, having all kinds of detached sex. Better to wait for a good man, who will not expect sex only on his terms, and time schedule. Such men are out there, I'm certain! :)) I've dated several in the past, they are just harder to find now because online dating has altered the sex landscape drastically, and devalued it on an epic scale. :( At least in my view.
morreth
Apr. 29th, 2016 10:28 pm (UTC)
Why it seems to me that the only fuck that guy had in his life, was "fuck off"?
peacetraveler22
Apr. 29th, 2016 10:31 pm (UTC)
:)) Thanks for the laugh!
(no subject) - morreth - Apr. 29th, 2016 10:37 pm (UTC) - Expand
aavenger
Apr. 29th, 2016 10:55 pm (UTC)
Nothing's better than to have a proper address for everything and anything: that's the place where we all go, you'll find it's warm inside, the red light's burning bright tonight! :)))
peacetraveler22
Apr. 29th, 2016 11:52 pm (UTC)
This song is depressing, and I don't like the band. :)) No one understand my views about sex, and it's fine. When a man understands, he'll be greatly rewarded. Until then, I'm often on my own little island. Sometimes it's lonely, but often quite cozy and pleasant. :) I once wrote a poem called "First Sex," when a boyfriend asked me to describe what a female orgasm feels like. It reminds me I won't remain shipwrecked alone on the shores for eternity.

Head to toe
cool drops
mist rising from water

I see light
full moon
crests of a wave
flesh on flesh devoured

Yep, I need a lot of passion. :) Not constantly, of course. But often. It's not about performance, but the intentions behind it. I'm not willing to settle for ordinary, or an address visited by the multitudes. If it makes me strange, so be it. :))
(no subject) - aavenger - Apr. 30th, 2016 12:00 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Apr. 30th, 2016 12:16 am (UTC) - Expand
nithoruk
Apr. 30th, 2016 03:32 am (UTC)
"What a delightful era - we can do anything just by our own selves!
But .... if relations should be a mutual thing then personally to me it means not only using each other's "body parts" if you know what I mean. Things go deeper to the energy exchange imho. Only if you reach it in a positive way then it makes any sense. And you can't do this just by your own. That's the Nature's (God's) trick I guess.
peacetraveler22
Apr. 30th, 2016 08:28 pm (UTC)
Agree. It's important to have positive energies and connections for me. That's why I'm not just jumping from man to man, sleeping with tons of people. I need some type of connection - intellectual, emotional, etc. with a man first. Basic warmth, touch, hugs, laughter, support..all of this, I get in abundance from my big family, which I'm constantly surrounded by. When a man is willing to take the time to get to know me before sticking his hands down my pants, and provides this same sense and feeling of warmth and comfort, then it will be great! :) Until then, I don't feel the need to waste my energy on shallow or selfish fools, with whom I see no potential for something meaningful in the future. :)
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