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About the Date...

Over the past few days, I've received several messages inquiring how my date went. It went well, and there will be another. :) Overall, he left a favorable impression and I will tell you why.

(1) He was polite and respectful to the waiter in the restaurant, saying "hello", "please" and "thank you." Not barking orders or commands, or treating the young server as a "slave" during the meal. This is a good sign of character in my view, and a non-elitist attitude, which is essential for me. We must treat all humans with respect, no matter the gender, social class, ethnicity, etc., until they give us a reason not to. For me, character and manners are of extreme importance, so I watch closely the behaviors and overall demeanor of a man during a first date, particularly how he treats others. As we know, most men are well-behaved toward their date, esp. at the first meeting. :)

(2) He opened the car door for me. Yes, I liked it. It's the sign of a gentleman and good upbringing. Plus, it's very, very rare for any man to do it in the USA. Over time, this would grow boring or even annoying because I would feel helpless if a man reached for my door every single time we went somewhere. However, in the beginning, it's a nice gesture.

(3) He asked A LOT of questions about me. In my experience, a lot of men are egomaniacs, with no foundation or achievements to support their inflated sense of self. They begin a lot of sentences with the word "I", spouting off a long list of things which are immaterial to me in the dating/love equation (their homes, cars, how much money they make). During this date, we talked mostly about EXPERIENCES not THINGS.

(4) He was relaxed and easy to talk to, with a lot of shared interests and passions. So, the conversation went smoothly and was never dull. He never once reached for his iPhone at the table, an amazing feat, for either sex! Of course, we all crave an attractive partner, but looks don't go very far in the long term. You must be able to relate to a person on many levels, not only sexually, if you're going to spend a lot of time with them or be in a committed relationship.

(5) Most important! He followed up the next day with a phone call, not a text or email. I refuse to be in a "virtual" relationship, where me and my partner are communicating mostly via text or Facebook messages. I still value the art of human conversation, and it's amazing how some men can be so charming and interesting in emails, yet in person have absolutely no social skills or charisma. I'm not speaking about general nervousness, which most people have during a first date, but the inability to maintain eye contact or be comfortable in one's own skin.

And, yes, he paid for the meal and I let him, without hesitation. So, you can see, I am in fact quite a traditional woman when it comes to relationships, not a raging feminist as some have accused. :)) There's no reason for excitement or relationship hopes, it was just a first date and it takes many, many encounters and an investment of time to truly understand a person and all their attributes and flaws...each of us has both! The main thing is to meet an interesting person, even if nothing develops romantically.

What do you notice most about a person on a first date, or encounter?


May. 20th, 2015 05:42 pm (UTC)
but it doesn't happen all the time) but when it happens I don't feel helpless - I feel that I'm a woman)
May. 20th, 2015 05:43 pm (UTC)
Then we agree! :) On occasion, it is a nice gesture and surprise.
May. 20th, 2015 05:48 pm (UTC)
May. 20th, 2015 05:43 pm (UTC)
Btw, have you dated a lot of European men? What do you think is the main difference with Russian men, if any?
May. 20th, 2015 05:53 pm (UTC)
no, I'm married to Russian for a long time))
but I'm able to answer your question: European woman are suffering now because of their fight for equivalent rights: for example, they don't receive flowers or they pay for dinner by themselves... and other stuff. My European girlfriends were shocked when they found out that my husband can buy me flowers every week)) and that he can prepare dinner for me while I'm doing my stuff)))
May. 20th, 2015 05:54 pm (UTC)
"My husband can buy me flowers every week).." I don't think this is typical male behavior, even in Russia. So, you are just lucky to have found such a man! :)
May. 20th, 2015 06:01 pm (UTC)
))) thank you)
but my girlfriend from Thailand is dating with Russian and she receives flowers every week too)


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