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Table for one please!

o-WOMAN-RESTAURANT-ALONE-facebook

There are many things my mother doesn't understand about me, but at the top of the list is the fact I often eat alone at restaurants, go to the movies by myself, and even hop in the car and go on long road journeys in various parts of the USA - all alone. To her, this is scary, odd, and beyond comprehension. It makes sense that someone who married her high school sweetheart at age 19, and has never really been away from him, would feel this way. I have another acquaintance who wanted to see an opera recently and was in desperate search for a date, but no prince came calling. So, she sat at home and whined rather than go it alone.

The reasons I dine alone are mostly practical. First, I'm on an entirely different schedule from the rest of my family and friends. No one is available to join, even if I desired the company. I'm eating my main meal of the day around 5pm, and everyone else is still at work during this time. When I'm too lazy to cook, I never hesitate to go to a local restaurant, request a table for one, and enjoy my meal. It's the same with travel or any other type of entertainment or adventure. At age 43, most of my friends are now married and busy with husbands and family, which means lesser time for friends like me. So, what's a woman to do? :)

I can't relate to those who miss out on so many experiences in life because they are scared of solitude. I once read an article that said if single women stop eating alone at restaurants, we will have no one to feel sorry for. :)

How about you? Do you eat alone, or feel sorry for a woman when you see her sitting all by her lonesome at a table? I think it's always good to have pleasurable company, or share life experiences with a delightful man or woman. However, as usual I'd rather be alone than settle for just "anyone" in my presence to fill space. By the way, I don't recall ever seeing a Russian woman sitting by herself in a restaurant during any of my visits. I'm not talking about cafes, but a proper restaurant where a hostess leads you to a table. I think the only place where I will not sit alone is on a bar stool, although this is certainly a fun social experiment based on past experience. 

Comments

( 131 comments — Leave a comment )
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real_marsel
Aug. 3rd, 2016 05:46 pm (UTC)
The text is delicious for a English learner! I copied it for detailed studing.
peacetraveler22
Aug. 3rd, 2016 05:53 pm (UTC)
Glad you like it! And I'm pleased to know I help you with your English studies from afar. :)
(no subject) - real_marsel - Aug. 3rd, 2016 05:58 pm (UTC) - Expand
marcusxxx
Aug. 3rd, 2016 06:04 pm (UTC)
I recognised myself in this post :) I live the same way - travel alone, eat alone etc. I don't feel sorry for a woman sitting alone in a restaurant because I understand her - she is comfortable being alone, but I'd rather order food delivery.
peacetraveler22
Aug. 3rd, 2016 06:07 pm (UTC)
Yes, I'm comfortable being alone. For me, it is totally ordinary after so many years of being single. :) But I will be quite pleased if I ever encounter a decent man to join me on life's journey. Unfortunately, now that I don't live in the city, there are almost no delivery options except pizza and Chinese food. I dislike the latter, and try not to eat too much of the former. :) In the city, I could order from any restaurant and have it delivered straight to my apartment door.
(no subject) - pin_gwin - Aug. 3rd, 2016 06:18 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Aug. 3rd, 2016 06:19 pm (UTC) - Expand
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(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Aug. 3rd, 2016 06:31 pm (UTC) - Expand
moskitow
Aug. 3rd, 2016 06:07 pm (UTC)
I have a bf, a child and a cat and I still eat alone(sometimes) at the restaurants or go biking (not every human in my family can survive 28 miles on a bike), hiking and kayaking. I don't see anything wrong with it.
My mom is the same :) that's why we like each other's company so much! I don't go to the movies alone....because I like to watch them at home on Netflix. If I liked movie theaters I would go. My boyfriend can go alone without me if I don't want to watch something (I'm not crazy about movies made from comics books).
I wouldn't do it in Russia though (that's why I love America so much) because a single woman attracts too much of negative attention. At least that's how it was in the past. Maybe it changed already?
peacetraveler22
Aug. 3rd, 2016 06:13 pm (UTC)
I don't think you can really compare the life of a single American woman with that of a single Russian woman - esp. if they are in their 30's or 40's. I think each society views them differently, quite honestly. This is why I'm constantly shocked and repulsed to see so many comments on RuNet calling women past age 25 old, worthless, etc. I've never once felt that way in America. Not in my 30's and not now in my early 40's.
(no subject) - moskitow - Aug. 3rd, 2016 06:21 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Aug. 3rd, 2016 06:22 pm (UTC) - Expand
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(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Aug. 3rd, 2016 06:37 pm (UTC) - Expand
irisha8787
Aug. 3rd, 2016 06:09 pm (UTC)
I usually eat at home, but when I fly to my company's headquarters for a week, I usually eat lunch and dinner by myself. It's fine, since it's more a necessity to eat than a leisure eating.

I also go to movies and museums by myself. Because I come to watch something, not really to talk.

I won't be traveling my myself though, especially since now I am married. Because I have only 10 days off a year, I would rather spend them with my husband.
peacetraveler22
Aug. 3rd, 2016 06:15 pm (UTC)
This makes sense. If I had a partner, then I'd probably want to spend vacations with him also. But even in past relationships, I needed a lot of alone time. This is just my personality type. I'm not a social creature by nature. :)
(no subject) - irisha8787 - Aug. 3rd, 2016 06:19 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Aug. 3rd, 2016 06:20 pm (UTC) - Expand
theodorexxx
Aug. 3rd, 2016 06:21 pm (UTC)
ah, those women issues
peacetraveler22
Aug. 3rd, 2016 06:23 pm (UTC)
You have no issues as a man? :)
(no subject) - theodorexxx - Aug. 3rd, 2016 06:25 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Aug. 3rd, 2016 06:27 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - theodorexxx - Aug. 3rd, 2016 06:29 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Aug. 3rd, 2016 06:38 pm (UTC) - Expand
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(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Aug. 3rd, 2016 06:43 pm (UTC) - Expand
manulul
Aug. 3rd, 2016 06:26 pm (UTC)
I'm Russian and I often eat or go to the movies alone, never thought about it like that.
What's the difference? Is it harder to enjoy a movie or a meal with no one around?
peacetraveler22
Aug. 3rd, 2016 06:29 pm (UTC)
Yes, for many people it is harder or uncomfortable to sit alone in a restaurant, concert of movie. Some people need constant company, conversation, and are extroverts by nature.
(no subject) - manulul - Aug. 3rd, 2016 06:40 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Aug. 3rd, 2016 06:44 pm (UTC) - Expand
floamaldita
Aug. 3rd, 2016 06:27 pm (UTC)
I do like to go to the movies by myself :) And it's always a great time! And I often eat somewhere outside alone. And it's absolutely ok for me. I think we need sometime to stay alone for a while. We are the people of the big cities :)
peacetraveler22
Aug. 3rd, 2016 06:30 pm (UTC)
I agree. For me, it's necessary to be alone often so I'm in tune with myself, without the incessant chatter of others clogging my mind. :)
leo_sosnine
Aug. 3rd, 2016 06:32 pm (UTC)
I do almost everything in full solitude. Except I hate people and traveling, so there are no things familiar to you on the list.
peacetraveler22
Aug. 3rd, 2016 06:33 pm (UTC)
You hate people? :) Then it's not surprising you do everything alone. I don't hate people, but the majority get on my nerves and I have no lasting connections with them. Yet I'm still friendly and can have short conversations with almost anyone, which comes in handy when traveling.
voleala
Aug. 3rd, 2016 06:47 pm (UTC)
I feel jealous. :) I miss those times when I travelled alone and eat alone at restaurants. However, I never mind a good (!) company for dinner. Specially , if I am a foreigner taken to a good restaurant by an aborigine. What do you think about those social dinning apps that set up you to dine with a stranger. I think they are not very popular.
peacetraveler22
Aug. 3rd, 2016 06:54 pm (UTC)
Good company is always welcome! For me too. :) I didn't know such apps exist where you can find strangers to dine with. I use almost no apps, and this manner of meeting people is strange and uncomfortable for me. Same with online dating. :) I like when things develop organically, in the flesh, and you meet people in the ordinary course of life. However, there is a local place I eat at frequently and the only people there when I dine so early are senior citizens. So, I'm on a senior schedule, eating meals so early in the evening. :)) On occasion, I join these old men at their table, and it is always pleasant and enjoyable to hear their life stories.

Edited at 2016-08-03 06:55 pm (UTC)
qi_tronic
Aug. 3rd, 2016 06:59 pm (UTC)
For me eating is like pumping gasoline :)
I do it alone without any problems.

Yes, women often go dining in groups, even if it's just an office cafeteria.
peacetraveler22
Aug. 3rd, 2016 07:03 pm (UTC)
There is another peculiar habit of my gender - in restaurants or clubs, many women go to the restroom in groups. Like a small wolf pack. Why? :))

Edited at 2016-08-03 07:04 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - qi_tronic - Aug. 3rd, 2016 07:06 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Aug. 3rd, 2016 07:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - almiconto - Aug. 4th, 2016 03:01 pm (UTC) - Expand
mybathroom
Aug. 3rd, 2016 07:04 pm (UTC)
If it's your own choose why not?
As for me, unfortunate, in the present I forced to live alone almost half of the week. It's really hard.
peacetraveler22
Aug. 3rd, 2016 07:10 pm (UTC)
When you're used to being surrounded by a lot of energy, noise and action, it's hard for most people to revert back to solitude and complete quietness. Is this because of your new job?
(no subject) - mybathroom - Aug. 3rd, 2016 07:18 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Aug. 3rd, 2016 07:40 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mybathroom - Aug. 3rd, 2016 07:52 pm (UTC) - Expand
elena_88888
Aug. 3rd, 2016 07:12 pm (UTC)
For me it depends on my mood and surrounding...
Sometimes I enjoy being alone, sometimes I need HIM or at least company etc...
peacetraveler22
Aug. 3rd, 2016 07:52 pm (UTC)
This is normal. :) Everyone's mood shifts, changes, depending on life circumstances and other things. If I'm desperate for company, there is almost always someone around. This is the benefit of having a huge family. :)
copengirl
Aug. 3rd, 2016 07:13 pm (UTC)
I am a Russian girl (woman) who dines sometimes alone and who thinks that it is ok. Actually, I prefer going to the cinemas alone around let say 10 a.m. in hope that I will be there the only visitor. My reason is that while watching a movie (with only me inside) there is a good chance that not a single person would answer the phone, or make noises with a plastic bag or talk to the neighbor etc.
I like traveling alone, shopping by myself, do all the stuff that other people are afraid to do alone. I am not psycho:) I have a husband and a lot of friends, but I also like being by myself and then when I am old I will not be afraid of solitude, because I would know how to entertain myself.
peacetraveler22
Aug. 3rd, 2016 07:56 pm (UTC)
Hmm, at what age does a female shift from a "girl" to a "woman"? Always wondered this. :) I think it's important to be comfortable enough with yourself that you can stand to be alone, and find ways to entertain yourself. Otherwise, there is a tendency to cling to unhealthy people, or situations, out of desperation. I've seen this many times with some of my friends...they would rather be with the wrong guy for a short period of time than sit at home alone. This is like a cycle, where you're constantly running in circles, getting nowhere.
(no subject) - copengirl - Aug. 3rd, 2016 08:21 pm (UTC) - Expand
saccovanzetti
Aug. 3rd, 2016 07:16 pm (UTC)
What is it like to sit alone on a bar stool?
peacetraveler22
Aug. 3rd, 2016 07:49 pm (UTC)
What do you think? As a woman sitting alone, it is sort of an open invitation to be approached by men, many of whom will be drunk and annoying. This is true even for a plain Jane like me, who typically dresses very modestly and wears little make-up. There are always exceptions though. The last time I sat alone at a bar was only a few months ago in San Antonio, and there I had an interesting conversation with a nice, intelligent man. Roll of the dice, take your chances. :))

Edited at 2016-08-03 07:57 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - saccovanzetti - Aug. 3rd, 2016 10:44 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Aug. 3rd, 2016 10:46 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - saccovanzetti - Aug. 3rd, 2016 10:50 pm (UTC) - Expand
kornet_azarov
Aug. 3rd, 2016 07:17 pm (UTC)

Such familiar story! Yep, same is with me :o)

peacetraveler22
Aug. 3rd, 2016 07:46 pm (UTC)
There are many of us around the globe!
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