Today I discovered the blogger inamora, a young girl writing about her affair with a much older married man. I don't judge anyone and my position on sex is clear. Consenting adults can fuck whom they choose - a married person or even someone of the same gender. In the end we answer for own choices in life, not the choices of others. As I read through her posts, I realized we have completely different views on men and relationships. What a woman wants from a man in her early 20's is often very different than her late 30's. But she got me thinking about sex, relationships and power.
To my knowledge, none of my ex-boyfriends cheated on me. There haven't been that many - I've loved two men my entire life (both when I was in my 20's) and seriously dated only a few others. I suppose it's possible one of them cheated and I had no clue? If I became aware of the situation I'm not sure I'd be able to forgive and move forward. I said in this post that forgiveness is a great human trait, but not one that I always possess. Maybe I would accept it and move on. After all, rational thinking and reason are sometimes thrown out the window when you're madly in love or lust.
Few women have experienced the humiliation of infidelity on the scale of Hillary Clinton. Imagine, your husband is getting blowjobs from a young intern under the Presidential desk and the whole world knows about it! At the time, many questioned why an intelligent powerhouse like Hillary would stay with Bill after the scandal. I wondered the same, but have always recognized that human relationships are complex. In my early 20's I lived with a man for several years and many times couldn't stand the sight of him. Yet I stayed because there was some strange, indescribable connection with this person. I'm not saying it's a healthy way to live, but I think most have been in similar situations. We parted after four years. The biggest heartbreak in my life. But time - it's the great healer and we're now friends. He will marry a wonderful woman next month and I'll be at the wedding.
Today Hillary is in the news because she finally established a Twitter account. This sent the U.S. media into a frenzy, and many are wondering if it's a sign she will run for the presidency again in 2016. Her Twitter profile describes her as "wife, mom, lawyer, women & kids' advocate, U.S. Senator, Secretary of State, author, dog owner, hair icon, pantsuit aficionado...TBD." It's the last part - TBD (to be determined) - that peaked the media's interest.
Is America ready to elect a female President? I'm not sure, but I hope it happens in my lifetime. Women already hold many powerful positions in corporate America, but on the political front there's still room for improvement. I don't believe any person should be elected to Office based on gender alone, but they also should not be excluded for this reason. So perhaps history will be made in 2016 and America will welcome its first female President. Or maybe Russia will beat us to it? I don't know how active women are in the current Russian political or corporate scene. I still think of Russia as being a sort of chauvinistic society. Personally I'm tired of looking at Putin running around shirtless doing "manly" things like shooting guns. This is the image he projects in the international media and I find it absurd. I read he's single again, so maybe a young vixen will snatch him up! Power, after all, is the ultimate aphrodisiac for some.
And on the relationship front, well I don't really know what to say about it. I've been single for over five years. I can hardly believe it myself, but the reasons are mostly clear to me. I get so many messages from men seeking answers and explanations. These exchanges become mind numbing at a certain point. The same questions are always asked:
Why am I not married at my age?
Why don't I have children?
And my favorite! - How can I be happy and fulfilled without a man? It's a completely foreign concept to some people. I wonder if female readers are writing to single male bloggers asking them the same questions? I doubt it.
There's no simple answer to any of the questions, and I don't feel the need to explain myself. I've never been the type of woman jumping from man to man, instead preferring to live in my own little cave. I'm friendly to all, but few people know or understand me well. I've always had a loner type personality, which of course leads to loneliness at times. But you also can grow very comfortable and content in solitude. When the right person comes along, I'll certainly take the chance of disrupting my calm soul for the possibility of pure love and passion. One day, I'll find my Neruda as one of my readers once told me. :) It's a reference to one of my favorite poets, Pablo Neruda, who wrote this beauty:
I love the handful of the earth you are.
Because of its meadows, vast as a planet,
I have no other star. You are my replica
of the multiplying universe.
Your wide eyes are the only light I know
from extinguished constellations;
your skin throbs like the streak of a meteor through rain.
Your hips were that much of the moon for me;
your deep mouth and its delights, that much sun;
your heart, fiery with its long red rays,
was that much ardent light, like honey in the shade.
So I pass across your burning form, kissing
you - compact and planetary, my dove, my globe.
See, I'm a hopeless romantic after all! :)
Best of luck to inamora in love and the blogosphere. And to each of you, as even the best relationships are sometimes challenging and complicated.