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Older Women

My blogosphere buddy inamora laid out an interesting post today about women over 40. This is my exact age, having celebrated my 40th birthday this February in Moscow. I can hardly believe it because I still feel like a twenty year old in spirit. The post and comments are really interesting. I think next week I'll lay out a post about being a single, childless woman at 40. It seems inconceivable to many, especially Russian men, that a woman in this position can be happy and fulfilled.

I highly recommend this blogger. We're different in many ways - she's openly promiscuous and I'm a serial monogamist. The things we want from a man are in most ways opposite. However, she's very intelligent and an interesting writer. I like her much better than the prostitute blogger, or that horror miss_tramell who is always in TOP LJ. I don't understand the appeal of this blogger at all.

To me, age has always been merely a number. I've dated men much younger than me, and men my own age. But never an older man. The most important thing in a partner is finding true comfort, someone who accepts you as is and shares the same passions in life. Older women - we're not so bad! Trust me. ;)

Have a nice weekend! 



( 77 comments — Leave a comment )
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Aug. 9th, 2013 03:30 pm (UTC)
An elderly woman - when you get grumpy irritable person. And shrewish.

Edited at 2013-08-09 03:31 pm (UTC)
Aug. 9th, 2013 03:33 pm (UTC)
I'm not a shrew! :) There are pros and cons to both older and younger women. Same for men.
(no subject) - real_marsel - Aug. 9th, 2013 03:39 pm (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 9th, 2013 03:30 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Shannon! But I don't believe that you have account on dating sites whiting something like 'I date only for money' like those women (by link) do. I wrote about this kind of women.
Aug. 9th, 2013 03:38 pm (UTC)
Yes, I understand the type of woman you wrote about. :) You know I love your posts. You're always focused on youth and beauty in attracting men, but these things are fleeting. And when you're 40, you will have a much different mentality. Enjoy your youth, but there's a sense of wisdom and experience that comes with age. You'll see. :)) Money - this is the last thing I need from a man. You know how I feel.

Edited at 2013-08-09 03:38 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - inamora - Aug. 9th, 2013 03:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
Aug. 9th, 2013 04:48 pm (UTC)
I probably give men too much credit. :) All are driven by looks initially, but for the long haul I believe they desire more from a woman. I've seen plenty of girls in their 20's who drink, party and smoke all the time and look very haggard. While some older women still appear youthful. But I understand the fertility issue is always a bone of contention if a man wants children.
Aug. 9th, 2013 04:41 pm (UTC)
Hardly "she's very intelligent and an interesting writer"... sigh
Aug. 9th, 2013 04:43 pm (UTC)
I don't condone her extramarital affair, but she's free to make her own choices in life. I communicate with her a lot, and find her to be intelligent. But we're both women, so I suppose I relate to her on that level as well.
(no subject) - mybmd - Aug. 9th, 2013 05:12 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Aug. 9th, 2013 05:16 pm (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 9th, 2013 04:46 pm (UTC)
I found this blog highly disappointing. She looks as ordinary Social Capital and cheap popularity seeker, playing on scandalous ground. Her age - 23 doesn't make her any specialist in judging people for me. Not my cup of tee at all. It was worth to have a look once, but no more. I found my husband in age 56 on dating site myself, being highly overweight, quit ugly and very poor. So I found her opinion about women in their 40 just ageist and meaningless. But I appreciate that is my opinion only and I don't insist being correct.
Aug. 9th, 2013 04:51 pm (UTC)
Sure, she is not for everyone. And her views are clearly reflective of a 23 year old, as I said above in my comments. :) I find her interesting because her lifestyle is so different than mine, and I'm always curious about different mindsets. And this miss_tramell, have you read her blog? I think she's the worst and most annoying female blogger on LJ, yet always at the top.
(no subject) - notabler - Aug. 9th, 2013 06:53 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Aug. 9th, 2013 06:54 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - plushevii_zaits - Aug. 9th, 2013 07:50 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Aug. 9th, 2013 07:58 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mybmd - Aug. 9th, 2013 05:07 pm (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 9th, 2013 09:21 pm (UTC)
as far as i understood, she writes not so much about older women as about disgraceful behaviour of some of them. if it is so, i agree with her.

i can't take my age. the number seems to be so enormous. it's not mine. maybe because i don't feel wise enough, grown-up enough i'm supposed to be according to my age))
Aug. 9th, 2013 09:26 pm (UTC)
How old are you? It's good to remain young at heart. :)
(no subject) - k_netalie - Aug. 9th, 2013 09:34 pm (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 11th, 2013 04:31 am (UTC)
This woman is smart and well put words into sentences.But it is very much in her worldview is based on the words "must", "should", "disgusting". I believe that man is born to be happy, and not to please inamora. And if his life does not interfere with the rest, let him live as he wants. Anyone who wants to knit sweaters let knit sweaters, the one who does not want to knit sweaters, let those be involved in group orgies. But, when I was a student, i sincerely believed that a music i listen to is the good music, and all other music is shit. Inamori is probably located at this age. She deliberately uses very rude language (that more suited to the porter than for her) to shock the reader. For the same reason, she considers sex as a purely mechanical action. As a writer, she is beautiful, but not as a thinker.

Edited at 2013-08-11 06:42 am (UTC)
Aug. 11th, 2013 02:44 pm (UTC)
She's 23 and her views on relationships, men and sex are reflective of her age. This generation - it's very different. Meaningful sex has lost all value for many of them. Purely a recreational sport for most, with unlimited options due to online dating sites, social networks, etc. It's the instant gratification phenomenon. Even when I was in my 20's, I didn't have this mentality. Everyone is free to live as they choose. But in my mind, anything worth while always takes time and patience to grow.
Я почти не знаю их - andrey_kaminsky - Aug. 11th, 2013 04:44 pm (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 12th, 2013 11:33 am (UTC)
This blogger (Inamora) has some intelligence, but she also has too much cynicism and egocentrism.
Aug. 12th, 2013 11:54 am (UTC)
Yes, especially egocentrism. :) She's young and beautiful, so men should worship her and buy her things. This is her thinking, and I'm certain many men oblige.
(no subject) - nar_row - Aug. 12th, 2013 12:09 pm (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 12th, 2013 12:34 pm (UTC)
Hi, Shannan, very interesting post. And interesting for me because, today it our 17 anniversary of our wedding. I`m 49, she`s 41. I guass we are happy famaly.
Aug. 12th, 2013 01:42 pm (UTC)
Re: ages
Hi! Congratulations to you and your wife!
Aug. 13th, 2013 07:27 am (UTC)
I'm sorry that is not the topic, what do you think about this statement is unknown Russian emigre?:
"Russian girls are beautiful and educated in the patriarchal traditions, so that for many American men - it is just what they need. Marriage" American man - Russian Girl "is common, but marriage" American Girl - Russian guy "- a very rare. should say that marriages "black man - white woman" - is a common thing, but the "white man - a black woman" - a rarity. just like the "white guy - Asian" - is the norm, and the family "white woman - Asian "- not every day you meet."
Aug. 13th, 2013 01:29 pm (UTC)
Hi! Nice to hear from you. Marriage between an American woman and a patriarchal Russian man? It sounds like a recipe for disaster! :)) Most American women are very independent, we do a lot of things on our own and have ambitions in life other than getting married and having babies. I believe the same is true for many Russian women as well, but the gender roles and expectations are more clearly defined in Russian relationships.

If an American man wants a traditional, stay-at-home, cook me dinner and raise babies type of woman then perhaps he searches for a Russian or Eastern Euro bride. There are online agencies for this. However, I believe the current generation is becoming more Americanized and independent, with focus on career and personal fulfillment outside of traditional standards. And I know some Russian men married to American women, or dating them. So not all men are intimidated by a successful, self-sufficient woman. :)
(no subject) - modest_so_zvezd - Aug. 13th, 2013 02:13 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Aug. 13th, 2013 02:14 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - anshukov - Aug. 30th, 2013 01:21 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Aug. 30th, 2013 01:42 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - anshukov - Aug. 30th, 2013 01:52 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Aug. 30th, 2013 01:53 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - anshukov - Aug. 30th, 2013 01:11 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Aug. 30th, 2013 01:38 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - anshukov - Aug. 30th, 2013 01:46 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - anshukov - Aug. 30th, 2013 01:46 pm (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 14th, 2013 03:05 pm (UTC)
Really? Seriously? THAT person?
Her choice of words is incredibly vulgar. Maybe it amuses you bcs. Russian isn't your native language. My Polish teacher and friend was equally excited about Russian obscene words. But I want to wash my hands after the very first page of inamora's journal.
Aug. 14th, 2013 03:07 pm (UTC)
I don't support the use of foul language, you will rarely see it here in my blog. But I find her mentality interesting because it's so different from mine.
Aug. 14th, 2013 09:04 pm (UTC)
More ridiculousness. Where are these beautiful russian women I hear about? Except for a few well known models, I have not seen anyone necessarily more beautiful than average nice looking american woman. Women over 40? Thats nothing. Women getting pregnant at 46. Making millions of dollars. Traveling the world. Womens sexual peak is like 35. I mean dont get me wrong I dont ever want to be a day older than i am right now if i could help it, but these posts sure make me happy to be in America where people can love each other for real reasons and not use people for sex and money. And know that all women are beautiful and sexy in their own way. If you make someone feel wonderful they will be wonderful.
Aug. 14th, 2013 09:08 pm (UTC)
Most women's sexual peak is 35 - 45. :) And you know there are plenty of American women who use men only for money and material things. This is a global phenomenon, and both parties benefit. The man gets to have a hot, young beautiful woman on his arm and the woman gets all the superficial things she desires. It's a win/win, as long as both parties understand the scope of the relationship.
(no subject) - amandakysses - Aug. 14th, 2013 09:15 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Aug. 14th, 2013 09:15 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - amandakysses - Aug. 14th, 2013 09:29 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - anshukov - Aug. 30th, 2013 12:52 pm (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 16th, 2013 03:21 am (UTC)
I'm sure our real age is the age we feel, not biological years :)
Aug. 16th, 2013 02:04 pm (UTC)
I agree!
Aug. 19th, 2013 11:05 am (UTC)
Well, I am almost 43. Likely for us, american society is not as obsessed with the age, I mean the biological age. As long as you are witty and feel young the skies are the limit. I have 73 y.o sister-in-law and i feel as an old woman next to her, just because of the amount of energy and hunger for life she has) Sadly for the women in the post-USSR countries age is something that can limit them in life, not just personal life, but professional and social as well. I was somewhat amused to find that women after 30 are considered "старородящие." there. Really? I had my last child when i was 36 and no one in my OB/GYN office was specifically scared of my so called old age..
The blogger "inomara" is egocentric and entertaining, but her audience and some of the commentators are soooo weird that from now on I just stick to be an occasional reader).
Aug. 19th, 2013 02:07 pm (UTC)
Women in American society are not perceived as being "flawed" if they're single and 40. A lot of Russian men send me messages suggesting that I must be depressed, lonely and unhappy because I'm not married with children. They cannot fathom that a woman can be happy without a man and children. I'm going to write a post about this soon.

The differences between American and Russian culture on almost every level are huge. :)) American women make their own way in life. We're not so reliant on men for financial support and we're capable of doing almost everything on our own. It doesn't mean we don't cherish manly qualities. It simply means we can easily survive w/out their presence. And I believe this is a good thing.

Re Julia (inamora), I believe egocentric is an understatement. :) I do find her fascinating, and her reader comments amusing. They are totally bizarre, complete acceptance of infidelity and promiscuity. Strange for me.

Welcome to my blog! I'm always happy to have new readers, esp. female ones as most of the comments on my posts are from men. How long have you lived in the States?
(no subject) - south_of_broad - Aug. 19th, 2013 04:22 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Aug. 19th, 2013 04:56 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - south_of_broad - Aug. 19th, 2013 07:07 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - anshukov - Aug. 30th, 2013 01:03 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Aug. 30th, 2013 01:39 pm (UTC) - Expand
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(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Aug. 30th, 2013 01:41 pm (UTC) - Expand
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(no subject) - anshukov - Aug. 30th, 2013 01:55 pm (UTC) - Expand
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(no subject) - peacetraveler22 - Aug. 19th, 2013 02:09 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - south_of_broad - Aug. 19th, 2013 03:01 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - anshukov - Aug. 30th, 2013 12:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - anshukov - Aug. 30th, 2013 12:56 pm (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 30th, 2013 11:54 am (UTC)
hi! I think that inomora have a good blog. And thank you for your comments in the inomoras blog.
It was interesting!
Aug. 30th, 2013 01:36 pm (UTC)
Yes, she has an interesting thought process. Very different than mine. Welcome to my blog! :)
(no subject) - anshukov - Aug. 30th, 2013 01:49 pm (UTC) - Expand
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